Your arions shirt & boxers from Perth.

Its officially a month but I'm still where you left me; where we hugged outside your school and me saying goodbye in tears. I think being sad has its advantages, it makes one really poetic all of a sudden. I never thought I'll make it through a month but I did. However it doesn't mean that I've become stronger or I've learned to survive without you because truth is, I'm really still the same. And I believe a few months down the road,however long it may be, I'll still be like this, crying to myself at night silently. I know this because I know myself too well. I may be laughing, I may be joking around and I may even be smiling but behind each smile/joke/laughter there's always that part of me that wish you could be a part of it. I can lie to everybody but I can't lie to myself. How's it that I can still love someone so much who clearly doesn't love me anymore? Or worrying how you are doing, your ezema, are you getting enough rest/sleep or eating well. I guess this is me when I said 'I love you unconditionally', even when you no longer love me I will still love you. It hurts,yes, but that's part of love right?

Though impossible,I asked myself "what if she turns around and want you back again" what will I do? Yes,I will be with you for sure. But behind that yes it will be fear of you leaving me again,fear that maybe you want me back cos I'm just a habit,fear that its just going to be another regret of yours. But whatever fears I have, you always seem to have a way of making them disappear.I'm not scared of another broken heart, because the day that I gave my heart to you I trust you'll know how to take care of it.and whatever the outcome, I know you loved me very much, at least once. Always reminding me of why I loved you in the first place, falling for you over and over each time you smile. But srsly, who am I kidding. I'm imagining the impossible. Thinking about us when the 'us' no longer exist.

Nothing hurts more than hearing the person you love saying I don't love you anymore.
Or when your love is one sided and not reciprocated.

I wish I was your shadow, at least I can be by your side 24/7 knowing how you're doing.